CSI:Hogwarts
by Dr. Colleen
Summary: The Las Vegas Crime Lab is contacted by the Order of the Phoenix in hopes that the CSIs can teach the Light how to solve crimes without magic. And this case just entered a whole new dimension of weird.
1. In Which It Is MrWeasley's Fault

Disclaimer:No infringement intended.

A/N:Hoping to make this Hodges-centric

It was Arthur Weasley's fault.

If his penchant for watching Muggle tv hadn't led him to become an avid fan of an American television show, things might have turned out differently.

Things deffinately would have turned out differently.

Let's start at the beginning...

David Hodges was running a trace analysis when Grissom showed up in his lab.

"I don't have anything for you yet."he said quickly, not looking up from his work.

"Finish what you're doing and meet me in the breakroom."Grissom said.

Hodges looked up and squinted at Grissom in question. The entymologist said nothing,and quickly left the room.

'That man spends too much time with his bugs', Hodges thought to himself as he hurried to complete the analysis.

The breakroom was full of people when Hodges entered. He would've pegged them as suspects in an investigation had they been in the interrogation room. He had seen a lot of crazy people in Vegas, what with all the conventions and conferences, but this was deffinately a group of a different sort.  
Aside from the nightshift CSIs, Brass, and Doc Robbins, there were six other people in the room.

Each were dressed in long robes in a variety of colours, except for one man who seemed to have fallen into a cowboy supply store. Two men were dressed in black, both were looking at each other with some deep seated hate. One wore tatty old brown robes. The only woman of the group, an older lady, wore a dark tartan.The man beside her was swathed in periwinkle. He had a curious twinkle in his eye that seemed to conceal a secret.

Brass cleared his throat for attention and everyone turned to look at him.

He addressed the crime lab,"You all have been called here because of a ...uh, an emergency. Our guests have a unique situation that the Sheriff feels requires the attention of the Las Vegas Crime Lab."

The was a long pause.

Greg was the one who voiced the question on everyone's mind,"What's the situation?"

Grissom and Brass looked at each other uncomfortably.

The man in the periwinkle robes spoke up,"Magic."

"Uh..."Nick articulated.

"Grissom, we have cases to solve, if you're finished with your joke, I'm going back into the interrogation room. We only have the suspect for another 8 hours. I'd like a confession out of him before then."Catherine said shortly.

"Catherine..."said Grissom.

"They aren't going to believe without proof."Brass told him,"You're always telling them about evidence...now they can't function without it."

"Is a demostration in order?"Periwinkle asked.

Grissom gave a nod of consent.

The man reached into his robes and withdrew a stick that was aboout 25 centimetres long. Muttering something under his breath he pointed at Nick. With a flick of the...it couldn't be a wand... Nick floating in the air above their heads. He let out a startled cry.

"So...will you help us?" the man in the cowboy get-up asked cheerfully.

The CSIs were left with their mouths hanging open.

Catherine was the first to find her voice."What are we helping with?"

"We need to be taught. The magical world is currently engaged in a war against a Dark wizard. War crimes are taking precedence over the other criminal activity and the Ministry of Magic is swamped with unsolved cases."

"You realize how bizarre that sounds, right?"Warrick ventured to ask.

"Yeah, how come you can't solve the cases with magic."Greg wanted to know.

The other CSIs looked at Greg as if he were high.

"I don't think that was what Warrick was trying to say."Sara said

"A little help here?"Nick said feebly from the ceiling.

"Oh, forgot you were up there."the man in the periwinkle robes winked.

Nick floated back to solid ground.

"We only need you for a month or so. All you need to do is teach us basic techniques so that we can combine it with magic."Periwinkle said,"You may stay at the school, or in Hogsmeade."

"I feel a headache coming on."Catherine muttered.

"Are you sure the Sheriff approved this?"Warrick asked.

"We're sure."Brass shifted his weight.

"What about our cases?"Nick wanted to know,"Are we supposed to solve them on top of teaching?"

"Days and Swing shift will split up your cases."Grissom said,"There really isn't much room for negotiation here."

"Guess we've been volun-told."Sara quipped.

"Ok, so we're going to Scotland then?"Brass wanted to know.

"Scotland?"Greg asked.,"What, this isn't in Vegas?"

"Do we look like we're from this place?"one of the men inthe black robes snapped.

"No offense, but you don't look like you're from Scotland either."Grag pointed out.

"So, we're supposed to just pack up for a month with people we haven't been introduced to?"Sara wanted to know.

"Oh."Brass started,"Right."he pointed to each as he named them,"Everyone, I'd like you to meet Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Albus Dumbledore, Headmistress Minerva McGonagall, Professor Remus Lupin, Ministry of Magic's Arthur Weasley, Sirius Black, and Professor Severus Snake."

"Snape."corrected the greasy haired professor.

"Right. And this is the LVPD Graveyard shift... Sara Sidle, Catherine Willows, Nick Stokes, Warrick Brown, Greg Sanders, Dr. Al Robbins, and David Hodges."

"Ok, I just have one question."Greg said.

"And what is that?"Dumbledore asked.

Greg turned to Mr. Weasley, "Why are you wearing a cowboy outfit?"

"This is America. I wanted to blend in."


	2. In Which the Potions Lab Is Invaded

Chapter 2:In Which the Potions Lab Is Invaded

The LVPD Crime Lab flew to the UK. Dumbledore felt it would be unwise to Portkey the Muggles and Snape had to agree.  
Snape was not a strong supporter of what he considered to be another hair-brained idea of Arthur Weasley. These were Muggles, for Merlin's sake! Most of them would likely have been sorted into Gryffindor had they been part of the magical community. What could they possibly have to teach a group of wizards?

The first few days passed without significant incident. The American Muggles had set up their home away from home in the East Wing of the castle, far away from the Slytherin dungeons.

Each CSI was in charge of teaching their specialty. The result was a rotation system that made Snape feel insufferably infantile.  
Catherine was in charge of blood spatter analysis and gun-handling. Grissom was, of course, the bug man. Warrick was teaching audio/visual analysis. Nick was uncovering the joys of hair and fibre. Sara was covering materials and element analysis while Doc Robbins revealed the mysteries of the human body.

Dumbledore had allowed Hodges and Greg to set up shop in the dungeons. A makeshift forensics lab was taking up residence in Snape's precious potions lab.

Someone had to put a stop to this.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Dumbledore! I want those muggles out of my lab or I will not be responsible for my own actions!"Snape burst into Dumbledore's office.

Grissom and Dumbledore looked up from examining one of Albus's knick knacks.

Great. Just what this castle needed: another Dumbledore.

He was not detered. "Those two "lab technicians", as they call themselves, are making a mess of my lab. They've rearranged everything. And that one, the one with messier hair than Potter, he is abominably annoying. He sings. In my lab. Make him stop."

Grissom squinted his eyes, vaguely reminded of Ecklie.

"Severus, we should not remember that these are our guests. They are here at our request."

"Well, I request that you send them back to the middle of the desert."

"Your request has been noted."Grissom gave one of his small smiles.

Dumbledore and Grissom exchanged looks and went back to the knick knack. Severus had just been dismissed.

He huffed and left the room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Snape stormed back into the lab.

Greg and Hodges were still puttering around with the equipment, exchanging sarcastic banter as they worked.

"Out!"

Greg jumped a foot in the air, and both he and Hodges turned to the irate Potions professor.

"Can we help you?"Hodges asked with more than a touch of sarcasm.

"Get out of my lab."Snape said firmly.

"If you want, I can tell you stories about my Papa Olaf."Greg suggested.

Snape glared at him.

"You are free to leave,"Hodges said,"If all you are going to be doing is being a nuisance."

This only resulted in a deeper scowl.

"We can teach you stuff."Greg suggested.

"Or you can storm off and tattle on us again."Hodges quipped.

"Wanna look through the microscope?"offered Greg.

"Do you even know what a microscope is?"Hodges smirked.

"I can teach you how to run a DNA sample."Greg tried to ignore his fellow lab tech.

"Do you know what DNA is?"Hodges went back to puttering with the equipment.

Snape's sallow face was slowly turning a light pink as the vein in his temple pulsed. His wand hand twitched.

This was going to be a long day.


	3. In Which Greg Meets Trelawney

A/N:I'm really impressed with these reviews. I especially like to know where you want this story to go. What would make you happy?

Caster:I know, Hodges is my favourite character...aside from Greg...and Grissom, and Catherine...and Warrick and Nick...and Doc Robbins...oh, and Brass. The only character I'm not a huge fan of is Sara, actually. I've never written any slash, so we're probably just going to be seeing just quirky friendships at best. Greg's little kareoke session in the Potions lab is due to the lack of ability to use electronic equipment such as cd players in Hogwarts. And yes, Hodges and Snape are deffinately made from the same mould. The David-Greg comraderie was a stab at the labrat version of good cop-bad cop.

SilverDragon54:I appreciate your opinion. I was just seeing it from Snape's POV...I can see him having that prejudice that any muggle must have Gryffindor sensibilities. I probably should've written something along the lines of "none of them likely to be a Slytherin."or something. I see Catherine as a Slytherin. But I like Slytherins, so maybe I'm being biased.

bumble-beeoncrack, fruit-is-yumP, Lora-Lai, and CSI Meridian:thank you for your reviews.

Anyways, on to the story...

In Which Greg Meets Trelawney

Greg was bored. He had tried to put up with this Severus Snape, but in all honesty the combination of Hodges and Snape was just too much for even him to take right now.

All the Crime Lab employees were allotted break time, and since Snape didn't seem to want to learn anything from Greg anyhow, the quirky tech decided to put his breaktime to good use.

He was going to explore Hogwarts.

Shrugging off his white lab coat and leaving in the lab with Hodges, he strolled out of the dungeons and made his way into the Great Hall. Now, Greg was no expert on architecture, but this place was pretty funky.

Deffinately a good venue for a concert.

He climbed the stairs, gazing at the moving portraits as he went. When they had first arrived at the castle Grissom had engaged in a staring contest with one of the portraits, attempting to figure out how they worked...in a way that a scientists could accept. Finally the man in the portrait ceased to find Grissom amusing, and he left the frame.

Greg snickered to himself at the memory.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Meanwhile back at the lab, Hodges was attempting to cram some scientific knowledge into Snape's unyeilding cerebral cortex.

Key word:Unyeilding.

Hodges knew that this greasy haired professor was not a stupid man. He just happened to enjoy making David's life difficult. Like everyone else.

Sanders had escaped from the lab to do...whatever a character like Sanders did in his spare time, leaving David to verbally spar with Severus Snape.

"It's really a very simple procedure."David tried to explain the steps to analyzing Trace for what seemed to be the 50th time

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Greg was lost.

It was the staircases. That was his story and he was sticking to it.

He was in a tower of some sort, and that was all he was sure of. Well, maybe if he wandered some more he'd find his way back. Hodges would be disgruntled at having to spend all that time with the professor, but David was always disgruntled, and usually without good reason.

Greg shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans and strolled backwards down the hall.

"I knew you would come."came a misty voice from somewhere in the ceiling.

Greg started and looked up.

A bug was staring at him through a trapdoor in the roof.

She wasn't really a bug...but she certainly looked like one. Her eyes were magnified but her large glasses, and the beads and shawls she was wrapped in gave Greg the impression of a large glittery moth.

"Inotice that you have been struck by a lighteningbolt..."Trelawney gestured to Greg's hair,"I Saw that coming."she confided.

Greg had no reply to that.

"I predict that you will speak again one day." she continued in her misty voice.

Greg miraculously found his voice,"Who are you?"

"I am Sibyl Trelawney, Seer of Hogwarts."she replied.

"Like a psychic?"

"I can See into the Beyond, and reveal the secrets of the universe."

"Cool." Greg nodded, impressed,"My Nana Olaf could do that too. Sorta."

"Have you ever had your tea leaves read?"asked Trelawney mistily.

"Nana Olaf was more into palm readings,"Greg shook his head.

"Come and have a cup with me."invited Trelawney.

"Man, this rocks."exclaimed Greg as he climbed the ladder into Trelawney's classroom.

Greg wondered if they could stay a little longer after teaching the Order about forensic science. Maybe he could pitch it to Grissom as a research idea. That sounded legitimate enough. Right?


	4. In Which Snape Masters A Firearm

A/N:This one's actually quite short. I'm not trying to cheat you folks or anything, it just happened. Thank you for the lovely reviews!

In Which Snape Masters A Firearm

Dumbledore had finally been exhausted from Snape's insistence that someone must be removed from the lab. Snape had meant that those someones should be Greg and Hodges, but Dumbledore had better idea.

He sent Severus to work with Catherine.

Being a mother, Catherine put up with much less from Snape than Hodges and Greg had.

Unfortunately for everyone, Catherine was in charge of teaching the Order how to properly handle a firearm.

Even the bravest get a little queasy imagining Snape with a gun.

As Sirius aptly put it when he heard about this foolhardy scheme, "Well, that's it, the War is over. We're all going to die."

This sentiment was quite likely, seeing as Snape was a terrible shot.

"If it's this bad with Snape, I'd hate to see what Neville would do with a gun." Hermione said to Harry, as the Golden Trio watched the spectacle from a safe distance.

Another cloud of birds rose from the Forbidden Forest as another errant shot fired from Snape's gun.


	5. In Which Malfoy Meets Hodges

In Which Malfoy Meet Hodges

David Hodges had organized the lab to his liking.  
With Sanders off gallavanting with some psychic and Snape getting his clock cleaned by Catherine, David was able to take a much needed break.  
He left the lab.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"My father told me that the only reason you are here is because Dumbledore wants you here..."

David heard the malice in the tone as he strolled down the hallway.

"Perhaps this is true." a gentle voice answered mildly.

"What makes you think that you are going to stay?"the voice replied viciously.

David rounded the corner and came upon Remus Lupin and 3 young students. If David could remember correctly, the crests on the black robes identified the students as "Slytherins".

The thin blond one spotted David as he approached the group.

"First they let worthless wizards into Hogwarts, and then they let in Muggles?"the boy sneered in disgust.

"Why not? They let in brainless snots such as yourself...anything is better than that."David shot back dryly. He had no idea what the word muggle meant, but from the tone the boy had used, he was pretty sure it didn't mean wickedly intelligent.

The two goons that flanked the little snit cracked their nuckles menacingly. David was pretty sure that Albus Dumbledore said that they would be safe inside the castle, but these, uh, gentlemen didn't exactly look like they were up to following simple instructions.

Oh well, he had had a good life.

"I think you boys should head back to your dormitories now."Remus advised.

The students shothim nasty looks.

"And 2 points from Slytherin for not showing our guest much respect."he continued, unfazed.

David stared the goons down with a smug expression.

The blond student turned on his heel and stalked down the hallway, his enormous bodyguards following close behind him.

Remus turned to David and gave a small smile."Forgive them, Draco grew up in a very intolerant home."

David shot Remus an incredulous look.

"He's the sort of student who needs a second chance."Remus continued.

_I can think of a few things he needs. One of them being a good swift kick in the--,"_And you don't mind that he treats you like that?"Hodges demanded.

Remus shrugged,"I've endured worse."

"Right well, I suppose that makes it ok then."Hodges said sarcastically.

Remus shook his head,"You aren't at all like they say you are."

"I highly doubt that."David muttered under his breath.


	6. In Which Greg Befriends The Twins

In Which Greg Makes Friends With The Twins

The Order was actually make a good deal of progress in the absorbtion of forensic science. Grissom was pleased with the results thus far he announced his Team that they were allowed to attend the Quidditch match:Ravenclaw versus Gryffindor.

Greg had decided that his favourite thing about Hogwarts was that he fit in quite nicely. There were plenty of people who were stranger than he was.

If he had to pick the coolest people he had come upon since arriving at the school he would probably say the Weasley twins.

They were completely psychotic, first of all...

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The CSIs filed along the benches in the stands of the Quidditch pitch.  
The Weasley twins as usual were taking bets on the game.

Warrick's ears perked up,"Would you take a twenty American?"

George gave him an appraising look, as if he wasn't sure he could.

"Sure."Fred snatched the bill from the CSI's hand.

"Who are you betting on?"George wanted to know.

Sirius leaned over,"He's betting on Harry getting the Snitch as usual."

Warrick nodded agreeably.

The twins glared at the convict.

"How are we supposed to make money if no one bets against us?"Fred wanted to know.

"Sorry!"Sirius sang out and moved away.

"Hey 'Rick, you gambling?"Brass turned to Warrick.

"I don't think it counts as gambling if these two are in charge."Warrick replied.

Brass raised his eyebrows but said nothing.

"It's a pretty cool game. I was studying the rulebook and it's pretty simple once you get used to the terms."Greg said.

The twins turned to the young man.

"How do you feel about commentating?"George wondered.

"But that's my job!"Lee Jordan protested.

"Mine now!"Greg cackled gleefully.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"And we've got the little one on the broom..."Greg's voice was magically modified.

"Potter."Lee supplied.

"...Potter, right, he's going after the little thing called a Snitch!"Greg continued excitedly,"It's gone now...but that's ok...other things are happening on the Quidditch pitch."

"And those thing are...?"Lee prompted.

"Bludgers are flying through the air, the Quaffle is also flying through the air. Funny thing is...everything's flying through the air."

"Funny how that works."Lee muttered.

"A Weasley Chaser on a broom beats a Bludger at a Ravenclaw Chaser on a broom. This is all very exciting."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"GRYFFINDOR WINS!"Greg finally cried.

"Thank Merlin, I don't know how much longer I could stand that."Lee groused.

"Yeah man, keep your night job."Warrick slapped Greg on the back.

"It would be so cool to ride a broom."Greg said happily as they exited the stands.

An interested expression passed over Brass' features.


	7. In Which Brass Attempts To Fly

A/N:Special thanks to MrsEads who likes Remembralls

In Which Brass Attempts To Fly...With Disasterous Results

Why shouldn't he learn how to fly?

What was so bizarre about the fact that he, Jim Brass, wanted to soar through the air like an eagle?

He paused and mulled over that last thought. It was a little poetic for him, to be sure, but it was a legitimate question.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The was no way he could control the broom.

Brass had managed to get Madam Hooch to guide him through the process of the art of flying. Seeing as Jim was a fully fledged Muggle there was no way that he would be able to command the broom on his own. Snape had remedied this by providing a potion that gave the illusion of magical abilities for Muggles and Squibs for half an hour(side effects included hallucinations, but these things can't be helped).

A large crowd had gathered to witness what many considered to be an exercise in futility.

It wasn't really the fact that Brass was a bad flyer, it had more to do with the disrepair of the school brooms. And possibly a hex or two by a Slytherin 7th year.

In anycase, the results were less than ideal.

The so-called exercise in futility was actually and exercise in pandemonium.

It mightn't have been so bad, had Brass been able to steer away from the group of students. The injury Brass sustained may have been lessened if his posterior hadn't made intimate friends with Neville's Remembrall.

Perhaps Brass was not an aviator, perhaps it would be best if he spent the rest of his life on terre ferma.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Doc Robbins was quickly on the scene. With Brass yowling like a wounded animal and thrashing about in a manner most unbecoming a LVPD Detective, little could be done.

Al Robbins attempted to help his fallen comrade but Madam Pomphrey was on the ball. She levitated Brass onto an invisible stretcher and whisked the unfortunate detective off to the Hospital Wing. A mass of spectators followed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Madam Pomphrey had to resort to a sedative to keep Brass immobile. He was not a docile patient.

"You're gonna wanna keep off this for a bit."Fred Weasley noted cheerfully, as Madam Pomfrey finished bandaging his wounded backside.

Brass drooled helplessly onto the pillow.


	8. In Which Greg Has a FanClub

In Which Greg Has A FanClub

Greg Sanders happened to be what one might to refer to as a social butterfly. He was popular, there was really no other way to put it.  
Colin Creevy, always one to capitalize on the success of others, saw a market among the Hufflepuff House, where Greg was particularly popular, for a Greg Sanders Fanclub.  
Greg, the aspiring celebrity, was tickled at the concept. "I am the great Greg Sanders. Behold."

'Greggo Wear', Key chains, buttons, hats. Little moving figurines like at the Quidditch world cup. Official t-shirts, and headshots available for Greg's waiting autograph.  
Hodges' sour expression was pretty clear about how he felt about all this fuss over his fellow labrat. Of course, David was never one to limit himself to sour expressions. During one of Greg's autograph signing stints David stumbled upon one sunny afternoon, he overheard a couple of Hufflepuff 5th years giggling to each other.

"...And then he stared deeply into my eyes as he gave me his autograph!"  
"The only reason Sanders would stare deeply into your eyes is because he hopes to see his own reflection." David snapped, before turning on his heel in disgust and escaping to Snape's laboratory.

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Greg's light attitude was, in some ways, a relief from the constant stress of teaching and learning about forensic science. Especially when Aurors were coming into the castle every day with reports of more Death Eater attacks.  
Snape, however was still not accustomed to Greg's...mannerisms.  
"So...then you put the thing over here,and fill out the rest of the report," Greg explained to an unenthused Snape,"Ok...now let's take a break from teaching you stuff. How 'bout you teach me something? Like...magic?"  
Snape glared at Greg,"You don't have the head for it. Not to mention the small but significant detail...you are a muggle."  
"Details." Greg washed his hand in the air."Teach me how to make a potion."  
"No."  
"Aw, c'mon...it'll be fun. Teach me how to make a love potion." Greg pressed, and wiggled his eyebrows at David, who rolled his eyes.  
"Love potions are not allowed at Hogwarts." Snape snapped.  
Greg squinted, trying get around that detail, "What if--ah, my head hurts."  
"That's Potter's line." Snape muttered.  
David quirked an eyebrow.  
"If you want to buy a love potion, you can...but as I said, they aren't allowed on the school grounds." Snape turned away from the other two men.  
"The Weasley twins have a joke business...they might know..." David's mouth engaged before his brain went into gear.  
"Great idea, Hodges!" Greg tried to hug him, but David's palm against the DNA tech's forehead was a successful deterrent. Greg shrugged it off and bounced out of the lab.  
Snape looked at David in silent incredulity.  
David frowned,"Well, he's gone...isn't he?"  
Snape raised his eyes towards the ceiling and took calming breaths...


	9. In Which Snape Inadvertantly Saves Greg

In Which Snape Inadvertantly Saves Greg's Life

It was all his fault, really. Severus never would have saved the Muggle had he not been forced to. It was a matter of Snape's life, or the Death Eater's anyway...at least...that was his story and he was sticking to it.

Greg and Snape were in Hogsmeade buying supplies. Snape's dark mark burned and he was about to apparate away. Greg, at that moment had seen something he wanted to show Snape, and in his glee he latched onto Snapes arm. Unfortunately, Snape took him along.

They arrived outside the Riddle house. Snape became aware of a very disoriented Greg clinging to his arm.

"Terrific," he said in a voice that made it clear that he thought that the situation was many thing, but terrific wasn't one of them.

The situation could only get worse, however with Snape's lack of luck. The Death Eater guarding the door took notice of the odd pair and came to investigate.

"Avada Kedavra!" Snape hissed and the black clad figure slumped to the ground.

Greg looked between the dead Death Eater and a perturbed Snape and also slumped to the ground, in a dead faint.

Snape Apparated the unconscious lab tech back to Hogsmeade. With any luck he wouldn't regain consciousness until they reached the castle...then Poppy could deal with him.

Snape had never been accused of being "lucky".

Greg awoke with a gasp like an underwater dementor as they reached the gates. Hyperventilation would be an understatement to describe his breathing pattern.

Severus had to pull out his wand again,"Petrificus Totalus!" and then levitated him the rest of the way.

David was taking a stroll around the grounds with Lupin. For some strange reason, David could tolerate the tame professor.

The trace tech and the DADA professor caught sight of the disgruntled Snape and his immobile partner. They rushed to aid the spy.

"What happened?" Lupin asked in concern.

"What did you do?" Hodges demanded.

Snape shot Hodges a deadpan look,"I saved the idiot."  
The four headed into the castle.

"How?" Lupin queried as they rounded into the Hospital Wing.

"He grabbed my arm when I was summoned." Snape said shortly,"I had to kill the guard at the Riddle house."

Hodges turned on Greg,"Are you suicidal? Do you have a death wish? Have you had Butterbeer!"

"He did...why is that a problem?" Snape asked sharply.

"It has the same effect on him as it would a house elf." Lupin murmured in explaination.

"What's going on here?" Poppy asked as she handed Catherine a small vial of potion.

"I don't want to hear how you discovered that." Snape rolled his eyes.

Catherine whapped the back of Snape's head.

"Do not force me to hex you unconscious. I _will _do it." Snape said in a chilly tone.

"Snape gave Greg, Butterbeer." David told Poppy who 'tsk'ed to herself.

Greg paid them no mind...and had regained the ability to speak a million miles an hour, "So then Snape was like, 'Avada Kedavra' and the dude was like, 'dead'!" he extrapolated to Poppy.

"A real hero." Catherine smirked.

Snape's wand hand twitched


	10. In Which Sara and Sirius Are Caught

In Which Sara and Sirius are Caught

_A/N: Everyone seems to like Sara...she's not one of my favourite characters, but whatever...I like your reviews, so I must give you what you want. Just know that this was labourous.  
I've noticed a few people asking for romance between Sara and...well, anyone really.  
I'm hoping that now you're quite finished with informing me that I'm high you are all enjoying the story._

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It wasn't as if Sara planned to fall for him.

After all, he was cheeky, annoying, and too damn sexy for his own good. It just happened, is all.

It started when Catherine had Hagrid assist her in her her firearm class. Hagrid had resisted citing the danger of guns. Snape had killed several birds from the Forbidden Forest with errant shots.

"He wouldn't help me until I threatened him." Catherine shrugged, explaining the situation to a group of CSIs and wizards.

"Are you serious?" Sara asked incredulously.

"No, actually..." Sirius flashed a fiendish grin,"I am."

Sara gave him a sidelong look.

"He killed 5 Jobberknolls." Hagrid pointed out feebly.

"Yes, yes...let's not go through the mortalities again." Snape grouched

"Well, they're not dead, really..."Sirius pointed out,"More like...metaphysically challenged."

Sara turned to Sirius, looking down her nose with grave severity. He flashed her a charming smile.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Days later Sara and Sirius were asked to devise an attack plan on the Riddle House utilizing the skills both sides had learned thus far. After several hours of hard work they decided to break and head down to Hogsmeade for a butterbeer.

They were walking down on of the castle corridors when Sara stopped short as if an idea had just dawned.

"Did I ever tell you that you're beautiful with that evil genius look on your face?"

"Don't say that so loud...voices carry in a building like this." Sara grinned toothily.

"No one's around." Sirius pointed out.

"I just thought of something." Sara whipped out a piece of parchment and a quill and scribbled it down quickly. She shoved the quill and parchment back into her pocket.

"Aren't you going to share with me?" Sirius asked petulantly.

"No." Sara replied simply

"You are a saucy minx..."

And it pretty much went down hill from there.

Including when Peeves came upon them.

Screaming ensued, followed by running, and Sara and Sirius found themselves in a broom cupboard, away from the prying eyes of Peeves.

"Ow! Get off my foot! And your elbow is in my nostril!" Sara squealed.

"You were the one who thought it was a good idea to hide in the broom closet." Sirius reasoned.

"Stop trying to get out of trouble by pointing out that I'm equally at fault." Sara grumbled.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

By evening the entire castle knew.

"Sara is being romanced by a wizard...that seem weird to you?" Greg wondered idly as he and Hodges worked steadily in the dungeons

"Yup." David replied, not looking up from his work.  
"Good." Greg nodded.


End file.
